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What difference does it make?

I mean have you ever thought about what you truly believe? What makes you, you? What you care about, live for, would die for? What do you love? What makes your heart and mind and soul buzz with excitement? What is your true passion? What makes you feel
ALIVE?

I wish I were able to write more often because it's when I'm writing that I most often feel the most alive. This is not for a second a knock against any other portion of my life, but there is something about being able to take all of what moves around in my thick head all day and being able to finally put it somewhere, where I can read it... where other people can be witnesses to it. To some degree it's about validation, just wanting to make sure that I haven't completely gone crazy... I figure if I post something too completely out of line that someone, somewhere would say “halt! Come again?”

What is this pursuit all about? Why me? Little ole' me. I'm not all that impressive, I'm all kinds of screwed up. I have my moments just like the next guy... you know the moments where a person doesn't know what's up or down, east or west, right or wrong? Well actually let me take that last portion back... I have for whatever reason have always had a pretty good “moral compass.” I'm just lacking in so many other key areas. How could Jesus choose me? Again... little ole' me. A terrible, no good sinner. Someone who just can't get life straighten out, who has trouble fighting for even the littlest of things. That's why I'm perfect for the job, because I know I'm far from it.

I know that He loves me.

He loves you too. Even if you don't believe it.
Oh and we bring nothing to the conversation just our sin. That's it. That's all we need to bring.

I'm realizing more and more that my mouth is set to get me in trouble. A good trouble, but trouble nonetheless. There is a lot of garbage that goes on in life, and a lot of people (well most people) just understand it as the “way it is” This is the way that marriage looks, parenting looks, having a job looks, this is the way of the workplace, this is the way of the church, my health is meant to look this way... and yet if your a Christian there is more to our faith than merely lip service.

We're not just here to occupy a seat once a week and say the right words when told.

How many people really want to be well? I mean lets be honest here... what's your life like? Do you want to be well? Do you want to have success? Live a better, more fulfilling life? Live like today matters, and that you were designed with purpose, with utter brilliance and beauty?

And yet it's not just that...

There is so much more to the picture. The Christian life is not just a fanciful, happy go lucky sunny day type of lifestyle. Of course it's not, I mean all we have to do is look at the progress of Christ through the Gospels. As a man on this earth where was he ultimately heading?
The cross of course. Where then are we heading? If it's not he cross, then perhaps your not practicing the Gospel. Actually your not at all.

Are you still on board with Jesus even in the trenches? Even as the chains get slapped on? As life takes sudden twists and turns?

Are you at the foot of the cross or back at home hiding under your bed?

I have been trying for a number of years to work around the feelings that I have had on and off again within my own spiritual journey. I feel like sometimes I've been a different person the past five years... I'm awaiting some sort of normalcy... if I even know what that is anymore.

How Biblical a “dark night of the soul” of the moment is I'm not entirely sure. Yet I can't bypass the fact that I have had what feels like extreme up and down seasons in my life. This pursuit... the pursuit that God has had me on... is a lonely one and I've all but cut everyone out of my life and not intentionally but just by circumstance alone.
I wish you could see who I know I'm supposed to be but I'm not. I wish you could understand.

I was a radically different person 5 years ago... that person still surfaces in alarming ways leaving me frustrated, bewildered, exhausted and seeking reconciliation. I just can't seem to get things right, to put things in order, to understand my calling. While others pass me by, I simply can't get past me.

I'm in the way. I'm in the way of it all.

Even thinking that sounds entirely too arrogant. I mean how in the hell can I be in the way of anything that God has for me? For my family?

I'm exhausted with academia. All I do is read material that I don't want to read, write papers that I don't care to write and even upon barely caring I can do nothing less that get A's on everything. I'm in one class right now that where as I missed a quiz and a free write and yet I'm trending a 98 in the class still. That's just sad. It's all seemingly too easy and I'm wearing thin. All I feel like I'm doing is packing the cabinets (my head) with food but in the process of packing up the groceries (academia) I do not learn to prepare the food, to eat the food or to share and show others how to prepare and eat. I sit here proud and bloated, with spoiling milk and moldy bread coming out of my ears and filling up my heart.

Because you know a particular set doctrine back to front doesn't mean that you love your neighbor.

Having the genealogy of the OT memorized doesn't make you a good father, a good husband, a great lover or provider.

It doesn't even make you a fairly good Christian.

I've been told about burn out before. “watch out Lance... you'll push yourself too far and finally burn out... I've seen it before”

Then what is it when your not even in the mission field yet and all you have is a burning to teach, to preach, to love on people and to lead them and your being told to “wait”

“Wait... your not ready Lance”

That's funny because I feel burned out on waiting. So explain that for me.

Okay Stop.
Breathe for a second. What do you hear me saying? (if your still with me)

Perhaps this is coming across like a letter from someone who is lost, is hurting... pushing, pulling and moving away from God. Perhaps I'm coming across as depressed...
or perhaps and this is the real difficult part. Perhaps I'm just now realizing what this whole pursuit is about.

I'm dying. I've died before but not like this. I can't go back... I've gone back and forth too many times. I'm just now understanding things. I pray that I continue moving forward but I'm fairly certain that if I'm to remain human (and I'm pretty sure that I will be til the day I truly do die...) then I will fall back a step or two from time to time besides how else am I or you or the church for the matter... how are we to understand the grace of God if we never seem to need it?

This letter, this post... it's about change. It's about radical change. About waking up and realizing that all the crap, all the garbage, all the junk from this world and the next is blown out of proportion worldly bulimia.

It's time to take things back.

I'm tired of not speaking like I know I can... like how I'm supposed to.
I'm tired of not defending what I know to be true... I'm tired of balancing the delicate nature of other peoples pride and ego's while deflating my own.

I'm tired of not taking Matthew 5 serious. Because I should and so should you. Or that I'm not living out the great commission, I'm not radical enough, I'm not on board with Jesus as I'm supposed to be.

I'm tired of just filling up cabinets with food and not crafting banquets for those around me to feast upon. I'm tired of the 9 to 5, 2 to 10, 6 to 2, 4 to noon. I'm ready for all of what Jesus has for me. Are you? I will not just grow old and grey, weak and broken down by years of working and not living. I will not be just another balding old man who beckons for the good ole' days while pining for retirement.

It's about people. It's about Jesus. It's about our neighbor. It's about love.

It's about a guy but not just any guy... the very son of God nailed on cross, buried and walking as a dead man on the third day. It's about feasting, teaching, learning, leaning, walking, resting, moving forward with Him for 40 days and then waiting for the next move. It's about Holy Spirit and living as the Body. It's about being the hands, feet, arms, knuckles, knees, hair, thighs, ears, fibula, eyes, chest, ribs, toes, lips of Jesus.

It's about revolution not books.

It's about hearing out what the old and the wise have to say about life and about God and less about following up on the latest trend.

It's about being financially free, chained off from lust, secured and safely away from bitterness, jealousy, deception and malicious words and deadly acts. It's about being Godly. About being His.
About loving Him and your fellow man.

It's about marriage, about children, about work, about passion, about Jesus.

You want to know what it means to die. Look at Jesus.

You want to know what it feels like to live. Look at Jesus.

What do we have to offer the world that they world doesn't already have?
I mean what's the next gizmo the church has to pull together into their services in order to achieve a level playing field with the enemy?

How about we just love one another.
I've yet to see an I-phone give love.

What do people see when they come in contact with you?
Do they see you or Jesus?

I mean honestly what do we have to offer the world that the world doesn't already have?
Are we really all about just giving someone a nice book on Christianity and saying well “there you go enjoy!”?

Are we just about setting aside doctrine for others to learn so that all we can do is watch them fail, crash, burn, blow up?
What if it's about a transformed life. Not a perfect life but a transformed one. What if all we have for the world is a changed life.

Saul to Paul, Abram to Abraham, Denying Peter to Pentecost Preacher Peter
Broken world to living Church. Death to Life.

What if what we have is this...
“I used to be this guy and then I came in contact with Jesus”

What if we didn't have to utter a word but just had to be in the presence of God and then others would have the same opportunity.

Do we at all understand who we're called to be? We have the living God of the universe residing in us!

How is it that we've just become accustomed to it? How is it that we're not floored by even the thought of it or the lapsed human logic of it all?

Are you not enchanted? Are we at all aware that it's not a guarantee that you or I will wake up tomorrow, that are feet will touch the ground, that are eyes will open up? That we'll make it to work, that we'll have another chance to pray, that we'll have another opportunity to hug, love or be in the presence of those that matter most to us.

We are but fragile creatures, with short life spans and even shorter dreams.

We're called to be the church. We need to start acting like it. If your a Christian... then marriage matters, relationship matters, the Bible matters, the Spirit matters, Jesus matters, sex matters, love matters, joy matters, peace matters, what you think about, dream about, learn about, loathe about matters.

You matter, I matter, we matter because He mattered first.

I will not be one thing for you, and another for someone else.
I'm Lance a disciple of Jesus... and that... that penetrates and invades every area of my life.
Because I pursue Jesus first. I pursue God and by pursuing God I'll be a more Godly husband, Godly father, Godly brother, Godly friend, son, worker, dreamer.

Break the Silence. Let's go be ALIVE.

Trenches.

It May Be Safe to Say That I'm in a Rut.


Sometimes I get into such a deep hole, not the sort of hole that you create as a teenager where you banged up your Dad's car, or had a party while your parents were out and destroyed the house. No a rut, that feels spiritual in nature. A rut that I can't believe is necessarily self produced but something that is much deeper, richer and frustrating. When it's difficult to tell up from down, left from right and whether or not you are moving forward or backwards. I do know something though...


As I write this I just love the way my fingers feel as they rapidly move across the keyboard, hitting letters with near perfection. I think I love it so much because when I'm writing, when I'm conveying my thoughts... I do not have to think, I just do and this just “doing” feels natural, worthwhile and I feel like I'm in my passion place. Again it's the matter of not having to think, my head feels less like a pin poked air release but as if I just hooked up a device to my brain and all my thoughts, emotions and reflections are poured out in a uniform and precise way.


I'm wondering why I don't do this more?


I used to write all the time but it just felt like it was taking away from writing a book. I stopped writing a blog only to talk about writing a book and never actually getting anywhere with it. So I stopped writing altogether. Yet the ideas continued to gather, my mind blazing with book constructs, with comic book outlines, with movie scripts, and serialized novels. Perhaps when thinking of writing a book, I fear losing the spontaneous and emotional energy that I get when writing a blog.


I wonder how is it that I'm helping change the world by sitting on my butt and writing a blog?


Tina and I received a video camera for Christmas (well we bought it but my brother was able to get a great deal on it) I've had a good time putting together videos and releasing them online and then I stopped producing them partially due to time but also because I didn't feel as if I was making any real dent. I've really just been in a spiritual rut. Then of course because life is so good, and I am so blessed... I end up feeling a sort of guilt about even feel depressed about this spiritual rut which only leads me to feeling more depressed.


I work myself to the bone between school, work and home and then when I finally get a day off I have no idea what to do with it and I'm left frustrated at the end of the day realizing that I just overlooked a unique thing in my schedule (a day off!) Boy do I feel like I'm writing a new chapter to the book of Ecclesiastes.


If you are still with me and haven't jumped ship yet because of my being somber and utterly depressing please stay on the boat and know that I'll be addressing some good things. Lol
This isn't me. The writing above isn't me. I'm far more encouraging, I'm far more excited and driven for what God has for me.


I just keep praying about a new job/ministry opportunity and really I feel like I'm still @ position 1. I promise myself that I'm going to move towards writing a book or something that could eventually see publication and I'm still in the conceptual stages. The world of academia feels contrived, recycled and without any sort of true praxis. Work is work... sometimes I wish my job could be like in “The Office” lol. I have boxes of moving stuff everywhere and I feel little to no motivation to move a single thing.


Gosh, I'm depressing myself. Lol
End Rant.


Yet life... life is great. I have a healthy, incredibly beautiful son. He was just measured at 12lbs, 12oz! Tina is coming along with her surgery, still healing up but each day is a progression forward. We just moved in an incredible condo which fulfilled all of interests, needs and desires. Thank you Jesus! I'm nearing the end of my bachelors degree and wondering what's next. Life is really great... I just would like to have a better understanding of where I'm going career wise. I feel like I'm spinning my tires and the trans is about to blow.


I pray that God will show me through someone else what I'm supposed to do with my life. Nothing. I pray that He will show me. Nothing. I pray that it will be through a dream. Nothing. I pray and I pray and I pray... and it's like my connection is on mute.


I know there will be breakthrough, I have to believe that something is going to work out...it's just a matter of time, patience and devotion. I just have to stick with it.


When I get down it helps to think of Judah, of Tina, of our loving families that have supported us and of course our church. Yet when I'm at my lowest... I really need to stop and think about all of those things but I really need to start things off and finish things off with one person. Jesus.
I need Jesus. I need Him in every area of my life, in my marriage, in my parenting, in my relationships, in my finances, in my career planning, in my work... oh gosh how I need Him there. I need to be who God would have me be at work. I don't necessarily think I'm all that I'm supposed to be in Christ when I'm at work. Perhaps it's because I'm working at a place where I was still very young in the faith, still caught up in ritual sinning and because of that I never really took on my new identity in Christ while being there. I mean it's not that I don't share with people what I want to do with my life, or that I don't act with love, compassion, joy....etc. Yet I'm pretty sure that any secular humanist can and does do those things. I must be less at work in order to truly be more. People HAVE to see Jesus reflected in me whenever I'm at work. I have to make every day count. I must wake up with time to meditate, read scripture, pray and worship. I have to because otherwise... I'm starving to death.


Perhaps that's just it... I'm not in a rut, but I'm in a battlefield trench. Taking shots and starving in a rut of a hole.


Thank you Jesus for not giving up on me or anyone for the matter. Thank you for not giving up on all of us who have failed you time and time again. Thank you for your Grace, your Love, your Holiness, your Justice, and your Power.


Peace be With You.

An Invite

I feel like a Gospel writer.

Not in the literal sense but in some way I feel like I'm sitting down to re-write what I have already written before. The writer of Mark sat down (or was in the mode of running) as he scrawled out his Gospel in a torrid like fashion. Many believe for this reason (and it's brevity) that the Gospel of Mark stood as the first Gospel written with Matthew and Luke following suit while utilizing Mark as the frame-work. Matthew takes a cultural influenced stance as he incorporates the Jewish heritage of his audience and Luke scribes his Gospel through the eyes of a physician with painstaking details. John is of a different cloth altogether, touching on allegorical references, drawing in grand comparisons of light and dark, night and day and moving through the shadow of Platonism.

So why make the comparison between the Gospels and getting ready to sit down and write about my new son? Because I already did this on Sunday with facts a plenty and short inflections of emotion. Today though, this afternoon I seek to write this entry from the perspective of a new father who is coming to terms with the vastness of being blessed in this new role. I'm looking to write not with the brevity of Mark, but with a balanced mix of heart and soul (Matthew) and of deep theological wonder and power (John). Oh and the kicker... this story has Jesus front and center in it (oh and Judah, Tina and me)

I'm going to be a writer and this is where it begins. (some would argue I've been writing for awhile but I would contend that something is different now)

Before I write “The Judah Story (#2)” I'll mention that I'm praying that this entry acts in a way as an introduction for the book I'm writing. I'll be writing on conversion. I'll be writing on hope, on loss, on patience, on belief, on love and life, on purpose and destination and a host of other God drenched emotions and events. I'll be writing from the perspective of a young Christian man with a wife and a baby boy, I'll be inviting others to look into my life and the moments that shaped me into who I am today. Which comes across as rather narcissistic but please read a chapter or two before coming to that conclusion. I don't believe that there is a lot of men out there writing on the heartaches and profound joys of life- from getting married, to losing a baby, to coming into faith and to peering into the eyes of his first born child. There is not a lot of men out there writing about the “love needs” that they have or rather need from the father figures in there life or the sustained respect and admiration that they need from there wife. Not many men are writing about grappling with being a Dad, about attempting to live out a life like Christ while living in a world that looks absolutely the opposite.

Not many men are willing to write with utter honesty and loving conviction... to invite you inside a place that is culturally promoted as a shrine of secrecy, of exterior toughness and inside strained melancholy.

I introduce to you a short book, with short chapters, about an average man, a beautiful woman, an awe capturing child and a God who is indescribably loving, encouraging and trust worthy. Hold on, buckle down, gather questions, have expectations and peer back into the mirror after-wards to see if you too feel, move and budge towards getting to know Jesus as God and I pray this writing blesses you in the same way as the people who I talk about in it have influenced me.

Peace be With You,
Lance

Judah is here!

Friday morning we went to our mid-wife and it appeared that Tina was possibly going to go into labor and so we tentatively planned to get induced if Judah didn't come in the next night or so. We were pretty hard pressed to know when to draw the line for how long we were willing to wait simply because we were sitting at 41+ weeks and they don't necessarily allow women to go past 42 due to the risks associated with 42+ weeks. That Friday morning Tina again had her membranes stripped and after talking for a bit and seeking God's will in the matter we ended up picking Saturday night as the cut-off time frame until we would seek out getting induced.

Friday night came and Tina became quite uncomfortable, contractions became fairly strong and yet not regular. Tina was up for the bulk of Friday night going into Saturday. Saturday we knew that either the afternoon would bring on labor or that we would be heading in that night to get induced. 10Am Saturday and Tina was feeling fairly strong contractions still and as hours fell off the clock she realized that things were becoming far more regular and that we should start to head towards the hospital to deliver. It was a blessing in disguise that Judah was late in arrival as my Dad had been gone on field service for 10 days and was looking to be able to come home early on our perceived day of induction!

We all headed out to the hospital and things were moving along pretty well with Tina – got in roughly around 4 pm and she was dilated at a good 3. Two hours into the adventure and she was at a 4 but having very strong contractions that were beyond even 2 minutes apart. The contractions were coming in constant waves- I'd say probably one around every 30 seconds giving her very few if any breaks at all. She went in the tub and had very little relief, moved to the rocking chair and back to the bed. The pain was proving to be too much due to the excessive force and timing of the contractions. Tina was giving a preliminary anesthetic and that proved to help a little bit but soon came to pass as the contractions never let up. If they allowed her a chance to breathe perhaps the anesthetic would have worked but she finally had to get a epidural. She battled for multiple hours before going this route.

With the epidural applied, Tina went from a 4 to a 5 and over the course of another couple hours she only moved to between a 5 and 6. The mid-wife approached us as we neared 3am and told us that she had a few concerns. A few things were not lining up in order to provide a healthy pregnancy, Judah wasn't completely lined up with the birth canal and his head was bulging a bit. His heart rate was consistently higher than it should have been (between 170's) and Tina was running a fever and bordering on exhaustion. The contractions were still coming very frequently but her cervix and his head were not moving along properly. Due to Tina having a fever and her pulse lowering and with Judah jammed up and his heart rising the mid-wife suggested that although this is not where we wanted to go but in order to get to the other end of a healthy pregnancy we should consider getting a C-section. Judah couldn't move forward, Tina was exhausted from the constant contractions and there were very few signs of the cervix wearing down past 85% and moving outside a 6.

In the minutes that followed there was a flood of emotion we knew that there were particular dangers with either selection but we would of course favor the position that presented a baby in the end. We agreed on the C-section and family had to leave the room, I was suited up in medical scrubs and it was in this time that things became fairly intense and Judah began to rise up over 200 with his heart rate and we became very concerned. The C-section came a half hour later and out from a bloody mess came a kicking and screaming little (big actually) baby boy! 9Lbs and 4 ounces of pure joy! It was beautiful to see his little face for the first time but he would have to be whisked away to get a blood sample due to having had a little meconium during labor and because he also had a relatively high fever. I took off with Judah as I knew this is what Tina and I had decided before hand and yet I felt fairly strange as I stood there with my baby son and looked down at him while he stared back at me. I was excited and yet concerned about Tina, about Judah and his fever and the fact that they were going to want to take a spinal column to rule out an infection.
The night roared on as 4 became 5 and so on and so forth. I traded laying in the special care room with Tina's mom as we watched over Judah as he slept. When the morning came we learned that his temperature had returned to normal, and that likely his fever was only due to having passed through his mom who was running a fever. This has been one incredible experience, although not everything had gone exactly as we had planned... the reality is that we have to be willing to negate our own plans if God has another will for the situation. I have never been in a place of such intensity like I was all of Saturday night into early Sunday morning but now we're just about through the debris of craziness. Soon we'll be back home, and be sharing our little love bug with everyone!

He's incredibly beautiful, big ole' cheeks with a round little body- all of 20” long, his eyes currently are bright blue and his hair is strawberry blonde. I have officially changed my first 2 diapers, I'm no longer afraid (well that afraid) of handling an infant's little head and neck and Tina and I are absolutely in love with this little guy.

We hope to talk to everyone soon, until then though please continue to keep us in your prayers and please just allow us a little time to gather up our family (Tina mainly as she recovers and Judah as he learns how to do the little things like feed)

We love and appreciate all the comments,
Praise God for this little miracle!
Lance

Oh and as I was finishing this I got peed on. Seriously.

Love.

I have had a difficult time finding the time, the energy and the resources to be able to pull together a blog as of recently. Mentally I'm thoroughly exhausted and by extension I'm attempting to consistently be strong, patient and supportive for my wife and for Judah (who is looking to arrive either today or tomorrow!)

This post is difficult to nail down to a particular theme and will probably just act as an entry to communicate my current thoughts, feelings, etc.

So here we go...

Getting all the last little prep stuff done for Judah. Off of work for 2-3 weeks (as of yesterday) Finished up my last class for the semester this past Thursday with a 100% on my research paper, a 96% on my final exam and an A in the class. This is surprising considering the fact that my head has been overwhelmed with "life" right now. I'm moving into my last 3 semesters of school before I get my bachelors. I've already started to explore the option of going into a masters program. I would love to either attend Western Seminary (out of California/Portland) or Fuller in California but I'm neither rich or willing to move. lol

I may have a break before I go after my masters...hopefully building up a strong ministry at Soul Quest and of course more importantly tending to being a good husband and father!

I'm weary of writing too long because Tina is having some strong contractions and they are becoming more regular. I need to go and get some stuff ready for the hospital. I'll leave with these last few things...

I obviously wanted to write longer but I'm not able to right now.

I've never felt this way before, to know that my life will be continued through the life of my son is an incredibly powerful thing. This whole experience (the past 2 years of "stuff") has shaped me into a better person, I have been more apt to seek out the face of God not just through the world of the academy but with how I've sought to live out my life. I'm really without words at this moment concerning my life, I will simply say this:

2 Corinthians 5:7
We walk by Faith, not by Sight

Life itself has been a learning curve, and I'm usually not at a loss for words but the past few weeks have left me without much to say. My head has been taken up with multiple readings from various books for 3 classes. Papers, exams and scripture has been manipulating every brain cell I have or at least what I thought I had. Then (and actually most importantly) comes the fact that my son will be here any minute, any day and I will be forever changed. How blessed I am to know that I will have a son any day now and that he will look to me and call me "Dad." I will be (well Tina and I will be) will be charged with leading our little guy into knowing who God is, in knowing what love is and in growing up healthy, whole and as a boy who prays as if his prayers can and will change the world.

Surely I could write here about my thoughts concerning youth group... I could write about my thoughts concerning holiday consumerism, I could articulate my thoughts concerning the book I'm putting together or the online church community I want to begin...but none of these things matter to me as prominently as bringing my son into this world at any minute.

God has been so incredibly great to Tina and I and I would ask anyone who reads this or passes through please pray for Tina and I and Judah. We greatly appreciate the love, the support and the prayers.

- Lance

What about the good news?

What about the good news?

I have had this blog title in my head for roughly two weeks now and this is the first time that I'm actually able to find time to sit down and write. Of course over a period of two weeks my mind has shifted from different topics of concern, and life itself has changed from 14 days ago... so this entry has changed multiple times before it ever hit the keyboard!

A part of me wants to write off of the expression "what about the good news," and another part really wants to tackle the expression of what it means to be a "Christian" and what it means to be a disciple of Christ. In a way these things correlate and bounce off of one another. It's always a good thing when I sit down to write and both wrists feel healthy and strong, my thoughts are clear and imaginative and I'm aware that I have quite a bit of time on my hands today before I seriously have to encounter anything of importance. Along with the thoughts about the good news and about being a disciple I have also been concerned over a couple other issues such as the position of a Christian in the workplace and about the possibility of women as elders. So as you can tell I have been pretty busy in my head, and in life itself I have been working, preparing the way for Judah to come into this world fairly soon and attempting to be the best husband, father and follower of Christ that I can be!

While on the topic about work, I've realized that a lot of the weight I have been carrying, a lot of the concerns I have had can be or rather should be put somewhere for others to read and possibly even learn from. For the sake of time I will only mention that I have been considering for a while doing a day to day writing that would be collected in bound form and would be called "Workplace theology: Living out the Way in the 9 to 5" I believe that there is a need in the world for someone to express interest in how we must attempt to live out the way of Christ in what is becoming an increasingly secular society. For me the challenge can be found in the smallest of situations and the largest as well. From having to work on a Sunday morning and missing church to realizing that a portion of what you do for work isn't necessarily illegal but is border-line unethical. These are the sort of things that I seek to find answers to and hopefully can help my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ through.

The overall goal of a book like this would be not to "sell" individuals on their "best life now" or getting the 6 digit a year job that they've always wanted... but for the working class, the individual who may have to do a job that at times (let's be honest) they hate but they must do in order to provide for their family, and how they as Christians can change the very fiber of their work situation, not in order to cope or just get by but in order to succeed and eventually move on to their God given occupation. Which again doesn't have to be a 6-digit a year job (actually most of the time it won't be!) but just a job that allows an individual to exercise their gifts, both physical and spiritual.

Enough about that...moving on.

So SQM youth has been going since July, work has a way of making things difficult with attempting to balance both school and my duties with the church. Yet I get by (Tina and I get by) we have grown from a group that does things in a very rigid fashion to a more organic, conversation driven curriculum. We ask questions of one another, we propose answers and we have (or at least I believe we have) a good time. I look forward to seeing things change further over the course of time as the Spirit continues to engage us and grow us as a community. I'm of course still frustrated at being able to get together only once a month, it just doesn't feel adequate enough and yet it's what I have right now to work with. So here's hoping that things continue to move, grow and intrigue.

So what is this blog all about today?

Like I mentioned previously...

Two things.

What about the good news? + what does it mean to be a disciple?

If you don't already know this by now... I'm a big fan of education, I believe that it's essential for any Christian, young, old, etc. I believe that we can go too far with believing that the Christian way is a way of intellectual assent and that by itself is a dead end street. Yet I don't believe it to be the opposite, you know just this "simplistic" kind of faith. I believe in "Simple Faith," while believing in enduring faith and complicated theology. Let me explain if I can... there are a lot of people who might shrug their shoulders at me and go... "Lance, you seek the Bible like you do because of your dreams of being a Pastor, a teacher etc.. " "I don't do that because I'm just a Christian and I have simple faith... you know I just love Jesus." A variety of other expressions can be used to dictate this form of simplistic faith such as "God is good," "just have faith," "I just know" etc.. these terms have a way of wearing us down in our faith because they are not concrete enough or sustaining enough. The realities of expressions such as "blind faith," "just have... hope" and "my faith is simplistic" are in and of themselves wolves dressed up as sheep. No Christian can simply subscribed to a blind faith, no the Christian faith is anything but blind, in fact faith as an expression of the outpouring of Christ into an individual can be seen as the greatest indicator of the truth of scripture! Hope when expressed by the world is that of a hope that sounds like "I hope that it doesn't rain tomorrow" this kind of hope is not the hope of Christians, no the hope of Christians can be summed up with 2 words "Trust and Certainity" a knowing that everything will turn out as God intended. This is power and belief, this is the Gospel.

So when someone says I have simplistic faith and they hold onto it as if it's something to be cherished I wonder just how things will turn out when they are confronted with real issues that no doubt happen in life regardless of your religious orientation. Without study of the word, without being on your knees in prayer, without truly reaching for a better understanding of God's will... when tough times occur, simple faith... "God is good" faith does not do well under the pressure and ultimately leads to the complication of faith extinction in the individual. Faith extinction itself is not a simple thing so how can the means to how we get there be simple? The irony.

I believe that a sound education is something to strive for, I believe that we must engage the word... I think that it's a great thing that we go out and evangelize and like how we do at soulquest we go out and do "treasure hunts" These are great tools for spreading the Kingdom message and letting others know that God loves them... and yet we still must not forget the need for teaching. Treasure hunts and similar events are great tools, in fact they're so effective because they do not require a masters degree to work, they are tools of the spirit and it's built off of the inclusion of the entire body. So success is a given with these outings, and yet we still must compliment these sort of engagements with practices such as world view classes, Bible history classes, studies having to do with connecting Christ to the culture and vice versa. We must be able to better understand the water that we're swimming in before it's too late and we come to realize as we swim further into polluted reservoirs that of which we should have known all along.

Now I'm just trailing... stick with me please.

Education is important, seeking God's will, seeking his face happens in community, happens while engaged in the word, while praying, meditating and witnessing God's creation. Education forms endurance in a persons faith, it allows for people to have a greater understanding of God, of purpose, of what it means to live, breathe and essentially die to their old selves. Again this is not a matter of getting a masters degree, you can have a head full of knowledge about God and be the most God-less man to walk the earth. I firmly believe this... it's a matter of intellectual, emotional reflection and thriving in community, these are the steps to cultivating a greater faith endurance.

Let's be honest here... many of us allow a 3 minute news sound byte, a work of fiction like the da vinci code or a 60 minute discovery channel presentation on the Bible to shape our Biblical World-view. Doesn't this bother you? It should.

So what about the good news?

This is something that has perplexed me for some time. We live in a world that is constantly pushing us around and asking of us to borrow foreign concepts of God and of his creation into our own Biblical world-view. Look at today, we live in a world where the occult is larger than ever before, kids and parents alike are enthralled with vampire stories as we hear of little girls on the playground asking their imaginary Edward to bite them so that they can be beautiful like him. Zombies, ghosts, aliens and other movements within the occult culture have been booming without looking like they'll slow down or stop any day soon. Couple this with the strong observance of gnostic-like beliefs in our culture, and in pop-culture especially and we have a culture in 2009 that propels us to ask the question.. "what about the good news?"

I mean have we loss our interest? And yes I know what most will say about me in regards to this... "Lance, your being quite legalistic about this aren't you?" And I would suggest... no... no I'm not. If that's the typical cop-out that most Christians are utilizing in order to do whatever they want whenever they want then they must go back and reread all 4 Gospels and take a trip through the book of Acts. You see this entry is for Christians, Christians who are just as enamored with the culture as they are with Christ. You see I have no issue with enjoying fiction, I mean by all means I enjoy comic books, Spider-man, Iron Man, Batman, etc. My favorite little book is called Invincible and it's my guilty pleasure as it has blood, guts... violence, etc. Yet the stories are solid and I like to think that they aid me in my Christian growth (yet of course this is lie, but hey what about you who watch college football all Saturday and try to pass that off as "spiritual growth"?) So I enjoy fiction from time to time, and yet I wonder where are those Christians who are still excited about the Gospel? I mean the son of God died for humanities sin! This doesn't come cheap or easy, this isn't meant to be something that we confuse with as a quick exchange, no this is the only son of God who died a sinners death for you and I and Mo and Shirley and yet we rarely talk about it, we rarely get excited about it, we rarely spend an afternoon reading about it. How about those of us who don't even take a moment with the word? I mean the word is the opportunity to get to know God, it's the avenue of relationship and yet we don't want to know Him better!? What's going on?

Are we excited at all about what God can do, has done and will do in the future? Where's the Gospel? Where's the good news? Can we go into our everyday living and point to the movement of God? Can we be like Paul in Athens and point to the Gospel playing out in a area where it seems like all but God is taking place?

This is the time for teachers to take note of the oral culture that we come out of, we have to become better story tellers, we have to become more engaged with the text... dare I say we have to look as if we too also love life. For how can we explain to someone that Jesus is the good news if we're saying it through a down turn mouth with a rusty crucifix around our necks? How can we say praise God if outside our 10-12pm Sunday church experience we're living out a life that curses him?

We must get back to the basics, we must get excited about the gift. We must get back to reading the word, praying on our knees as if our prayers can shake buildings and we must believe that the way of Jesus is not just the best possible way but "the way." Which moves me briefly into my final proclamation here...

The concept of living in the world and yet not being of the world is difficult. In fact it's seemingly impossible. How do we interact as Christians in a world that is anti-Christ or even a nation for that matter? Many theories have been laid out for us, some will back out of the culture... these individuals will seek to withdraw and in doing so will have no effect on the culture at all. Some seek to join hands with the culture, this way finds Christians combining the flag and the cross together while singing church hymns with machine guns rattling off in war-zones. Others still we seek to transform the culture, and in doing so they will become turned upside down and possibly face depression or the loss of their Christian distinction. I believe at this point that we're called to join with Christ, join up with the Holy Spirit in transforming the culture and yet we are always to place Christ above the culture. This is counter-cultural and because of that I believe it's entirely Jesus. Here's my take on what most people do today... they become Christians as if being Christian is a part of who they are akin to liking soccer, being in a band and working at Ford. Christianity is literally an off-shoot of who they are, not of a new identification. They give over their hearts to Christ but keep their lives in the world. They give over their minds to Christ but their bodies over to their work, to their worldly desires. You see Christ did not ask us to seek membership with him on the weekends. He didn't suggest that we should say yes to him while not following him. Christ asks us to follow him, and this isn't to be seen as most see it today as a mutually exclusive act of "spiritual" following. No Christ asks us to follow him, to be a part of the way. Yet when we suggest that our Christianity is a religious belief, we designate Christ to a form, to a practice, to a particular set of events we take part in. We must be disciples of Christ, we must follow him and in doing so we will not be taking part in God-less religion but in following the way. The way that utilizes every bit of who we are right here and right now... the way that commands us to pay attention to a story within history that constitutes as the good news amongst a broken creation.

Peace be With You,
Lance

Soon.

Soon. This will be better understood in a little while.