An Invite

I feel like a Gospel writer.

Not in the literal sense but in some way I feel like I'm sitting down to re-write what I have already written before. The writer of Mark sat down (or was in the mode of running) as he scrawled out his Gospel in a torrid like fashion. Many believe for this reason (and it's brevity) that the Gospel of Mark stood as the first Gospel written with Matthew and Luke following suit while utilizing Mark as the frame-work. Matthew takes a cultural influenced stance as he incorporates the Jewish heritage of his audience and Luke scribes his Gospel through the eyes of a physician with painstaking details. John is of a different cloth altogether, touching on allegorical references, drawing in grand comparisons of light and dark, night and day and moving through the shadow of Platonism.

So why make the comparison between the Gospels and getting ready to sit down and write about my new son? Because I already did this on Sunday with facts a plenty and short inflections of emotion. Today though, this afternoon I seek to write this entry from the perspective of a new father who is coming to terms with the vastness of being blessed in this new role. I'm looking to write not with the brevity of Mark, but with a balanced mix of heart and soul (Matthew) and of deep theological wonder and power (John). Oh and the kicker... this story has Jesus front and center in it (oh and Judah, Tina and me)

I'm going to be a writer and this is where it begins. (some would argue I've been writing for awhile but I would contend that something is different now)

Before I write “The Judah Story (#2)” I'll mention that I'm praying that this entry acts in a way as an introduction for the book I'm writing. I'll be writing on conversion. I'll be writing on hope, on loss, on patience, on belief, on love and life, on purpose and destination and a host of other God drenched emotions and events. I'll be writing from the perspective of a young Christian man with a wife and a baby boy, I'll be inviting others to look into my life and the moments that shaped me into who I am today. Which comes across as rather narcissistic but please read a chapter or two before coming to that conclusion. I don't believe that there is a lot of men out there writing on the heartaches and profound joys of life- from getting married, to losing a baby, to coming into faith and to peering into the eyes of his first born child. There is not a lot of men out there writing about the “love needs” that they have or rather need from the father figures in there life or the sustained respect and admiration that they need from there wife. Not many men are writing about grappling with being a Dad, about attempting to live out a life like Christ while living in a world that looks absolutely the opposite.

Not many men are willing to write with utter honesty and loving conviction... to invite you inside a place that is culturally promoted as a shrine of secrecy, of exterior toughness and inside strained melancholy.

I introduce to you a short book, with short chapters, about an average man, a beautiful woman, an awe capturing child and a God who is indescribably loving, encouraging and trust worthy. Hold on, buckle down, gather questions, have expectations and peer back into the mirror after-wards to see if you too feel, move and budge towards getting to know Jesus as God and I pray this writing blesses you in the same way as the people who I talk about in it have influenced me.

Peace be With You,
Lance

Judah is here!

Friday morning we went to our mid-wife and it appeared that Tina was possibly going to go into labor and so we tentatively planned to get induced if Judah didn't come in the next night or so. We were pretty hard pressed to know when to draw the line for how long we were willing to wait simply because we were sitting at 41+ weeks and they don't necessarily allow women to go past 42 due to the risks associated with 42+ weeks. That Friday morning Tina again had her membranes stripped and after talking for a bit and seeking God's will in the matter we ended up picking Saturday night as the cut-off time frame until we would seek out getting induced.

Friday night came and Tina became quite uncomfortable, contractions became fairly strong and yet not regular. Tina was up for the bulk of Friday night going into Saturday. Saturday we knew that either the afternoon would bring on labor or that we would be heading in that night to get induced. 10Am Saturday and Tina was feeling fairly strong contractions still and as hours fell off the clock she realized that things were becoming far more regular and that we should start to head towards the hospital to deliver. It was a blessing in disguise that Judah was late in arrival as my Dad had been gone on field service for 10 days and was looking to be able to come home early on our perceived day of induction!

We all headed out to the hospital and things were moving along pretty well with Tina – got in roughly around 4 pm and she was dilated at a good 3. Two hours into the adventure and she was at a 4 but having very strong contractions that were beyond even 2 minutes apart. The contractions were coming in constant waves- I'd say probably one around every 30 seconds giving her very few if any breaks at all. She went in the tub and had very little relief, moved to the rocking chair and back to the bed. The pain was proving to be too much due to the excessive force and timing of the contractions. Tina was giving a preliminary anesthetic and that proved to help a little bit but soon came to pass as the contractions never let up. If they allowed her a chance to breathe perhaps the anesthetic would have worked but she finally had to get a epidural. She battled for multiple hours before going this route.

With the epidural applied, Tina went from a 4 to a 5 and over the course of another couple hours she only moved to between a 5 and 6. The mid-wife approached us as we neared 3am and told us that she had a few concerns. A few things were not lining up in order to provide a healthy pregnancy, Judah wasn't completely lined up with the birth canal and his head was bulging a bit. His heart rate was consistently higher than it should have been (between 170's) and Tina was running a fever and bordering on exhaustion. The contractions were still coming very frequently but her cervix and his head were not moving along properly. Due to Tina having a fever and her pulse lowering and with Judah jammed up and his heart rising the mid-wife suggested that although this is not where we wanted to go but in order to get to the other end of a healthy pregnancy we should consider getting a C-section. Judah couldn't move forward, Tina was exhausted from the constant contractions and there were very few signs of the cervix wearing down past 85% and moving outside a 6.

In the minutes that followed there was a flood of emotion we knew that there were particular dangers with either selection but we would of course favor the position that presented a baby in the end. We agreed on the C-section and family had to leave the room, I was suited up in medical scrubs and it was in this time that things became fairly intense and Judah began to rise up over 200 with his heart rate and we became very concerned. The C-section came a half hour later and out from a bloody mess came a kicking and screaming little (big actually) baby boy! 9Lbs and 4 ounces of pure joy! It was beautiful to see his little face for the first time but he would have to be whisked away to get a blood sample due to having had a little meconium during labor and because he also had a relatively high fever. I took off with Judah as I knew this is what Tina and I had decided before hand and yet I felt fairly strange as I stood there with my baby son and looked down at him while he stared back at me. I was excited and yet concerned about Tina, about Judah and his fever and the fact that they were going to want to take a spinal column to rule out an infection.
The night roared on as 4 became 5 and so on and so forth. I traded laying in the special care room with Tina's mom as we watched over Judah as he slept. When the morning came we learned that his temperature had returned to normal, and that likely his fever was only due to having passed through his mom who was running a fever. This has been one incredible experience, although not everything had gone exactly as we had planned... the reality is that we have to be willing to negate our own plans if God has another will for the situation. I have never been in a place of such intensity like I was all of Saturday night into early Sunday morning but now we're just about through the debris of craziness. Soon we'll be back home, and be sharing our little love bug with everyone!

He's incredibly beautiful, big ole' cheeks with a round little body- all of 20” long, his eyes currently are bright blue and his hair is strawberry blonde. I have officially changed my first 2 diapers, I'm no longer afraid (well that afraid) of handling an infant's little head and neck and Tina and I are absolutely in love with this little guy.

We hope to talk to everyone soon, until then though please continue to keep us in your prayers and please just allow us a little time to gather up our family (Tina mainly as she recovers and Judah as he learns how to do the little things like feed)

We love and appreciate all the comments,
Praise God for this little miracle!
Lance

Oh and as I was finishing this I got peed on. Seriously.

Love.

I have had a difficult time finding the time, the energy and the resources to be able to pull together a blog as of recently. Mentally I'm thoroughly exhausted and by extension I'm attempting to consistently be strong, patient and supportive for my wife and for Judah (who is looking to arrive either today or tomorrow!)

This post is difficult to nail down to a particular theme and will probably just act as an entry to communicate my current thoughts, feelings, etc.

So here we go...

Getting all the last little prep stuff done for Judah. Off of work for 2-3 weeks (as of yesterday) Finished up my last class for the semester this past Thursday with a 100% on my research paper, a 96% on my final exam and an A in the class. This is surprising considering the fact that my head has been overwhelmed with "life" right now. I'm moving into my last 3 semesters of school before I get my bachelors. I've already started to explore the option of going into a masters program. I would love to either attend Western Seminary (out of California/Portland) or Fuller in California but I'm neither rich or willing to move. lol

I may have a break before I go after my masters...hopefully building up a strong ministry at Soul Quest and of course more importantly tending to being a good husband and father!

I'm weary of writing too long because Tina is having some strong contractions and they are becoming more regular. I need to go and get some stuff ready for the hospital. I'll leave with these last few things...

I obviously wanted to write longer but I'm not able to right now.

I've never felt this way before, to know that my life will be continued through the life of my son is an incredibly powerful thing. This whole experience (the past 2 years of "stuff") has shaped me into a better person, I have been more apt to seek out the face of God not just through the world of the academy but with how I've sought to live out my life. I'm really without words at this moment concerning my life, I will simply say this:

2 Corinthians 5:7
We walk by Faith, not by Sight

Life itself has been a learning curve, and I'm usually not at a loss for words but the past few weeks have left me without much to say. My head has been taken up with multiple readings from various books for 3 classes. Papers, exams and scripture has been manipulating every brain cell I have or at least what I thought I had. Then (and actually most importantly) comes the fact that my son will be here any minute, any day and I will be forever changed. How blessed I am to know that I will have a son any day now and that he will look to me and call me "Dad." I will be (well Tina and I will be) will be charged with leading our little guy into knowing who God is, in knowing what love is and in growing up healthy, whole and as a boy who prays as if his prayers can and will change the world.

Surely I could write here about my thoughts concerning youth group... I could write about my thoughts concerning holiday consumerism, I could articulate my thoughts concerning the book I'm putting together or the online church community I want to begin...but none of these things matter to me as prominently as bringing my son into this world at any minute.

God has been so incredibly great to Tina and I and I would ask anyone who reads this or passes through please pray for Tina and I and Judah. We greatly appreciate the love, the support and the prayers.

- Lance