Belief

I'm a little out of my element... I haven't really had decent time to write, and I write most effectively in the morning so its been tough with my schedule. With it being 11 o'clock at night I'll try my best though... because I really have something that I would like to throw out there.

If your just getting to know me, then you must have figured out by now (either by the name of this blog or any previous blog posted here) I have a great interest in God, and in Faith, and in what it means to live a life that resembles that of Jesus Christ. The past year or so has been an incredibly tough time in my Faith walk, dare I say that its been an incredibly tough time for my wife, for my family, for my marriage. Yet God always hears the cries of his children, God always answers those that cry out for Him.

Here we are months after the loss of Josiah, and now we're at another pregnancy- this pregnancy is not by chance, or by random selection... this pregnancy is a blessing, this pregnancy has been set in motion and is being brought up through and by God. The loss devastated us, but through our loss we have found a deeper, and greater relationship with the Lord... and in the realm "of everything"... knowing and having a relationship with God is "everything." In the past few months God has been working from behind the scenes and has been doing incredible feats. If you only knew half of the stuff that I know.... (and yet soon you will) I guarantee it will not be long and you will know. I've promised God that I will bring all the praise to Him, and that I will tell this story...a story about the awesome transformational power and Grace of God.

Since hearing about the pregnancy we have celebrated two other pregnancies from fellow friends. In hearing the news of these new arrivals, I can't help but get excited for the future. I look forward to seeing my own child, holding my own flesh and blood in my arms. Since hearing about the pregnancy we (Tina and I) have been on a roller coaster ride of emotions.

I guess after what we went through... you wonder "How are we supposed to feel?"
There seems to be a feeling of "never going back," things can never be the same. We only knew disappointment back then, we didn't have the same experience as others have. We suffered in what was supposed to the greatest moment of our lives. What for many describes a moment of celebration and excitement- we were no doubt filled with mixed feelings of anxiety, sorrow and worry.

I said we were.

Tina and I believe. We believe in the power of God. We believe that this pregnancy is not without reason and that we will see this child in the flesh. This baby will be held by their Dad, and comforted by their mother. We will not suffer loss again because we believe and our entire Faith is on the line. I will not pretend to know the depths of God, God is filled with so much mystery. But I do know a few things... I know that God is Just, that God is love, that God is kind, and good, and powerful, and true, and able, and our Child's life-line.

We can trust God. We can put all of our Faith on the line.
Bad things happen and have happened. Not this time though, not this time.

Our God, our Jesus... Our Jesus is solid, is life, is love and deserves our total belief and Faith.

It's all on the line, I will give it all the way for this child, I will be willing and able. Yet God has me covered, God has us covered through his son Jesus.

You see there is power in words. There is power in what we say, what we type and what we believe. God brought us to repentance, God restored Tina's blood work, God restored Tina's cycle, God brought us a church and family within that church. God brought about this pregnancy, and he will keep this baby strong, and growing.

We believe.

Sometimes I wonder why things come easy for some... and yet this doesn't mean I have anything against those that have things easier. It's just I wonder... I wonder why we had to go through the trauma, the panic and the fear that we went through. It's in this theodicy- this believe that things go wrong, and that in what remains unexplainable... God allows it to happen that man, woman and child must have Faith and endure.

I did not become a Christian because I believed that everything would be easy- I became a Christian because when God approached me- I had no other choice.

This pregnancy will succeed because God is with us. This pregnancy will endure because our Faith is not our own, but it is Christ's Faith within us. There is no room or root for any other spirit to take place, for as Christians we live with an understanding that our prayers matter, that our words can change things when we bring them before God and that as children of the Father we have an inheritance. We can be bold, we can live in abundance because God is with us.

I'm not sure if this writing truly vocalizes what I'm feeling or gives enough praise to what God is doing... but it's something.

I am truly blessed, Tina and I are truly blessed and we have so much to look forward to with this child. We have so many amazing people praying for us, and we're deeply thankful. We will never stop giving God the praise, and we know and understand that our words carry weight, power and potential. Thank you Jesus, we pray for complete, and total health for this pregnancy through the Holy Spirit and in the powerful name of Jesus of Nazareth. Amen.

- Until next time,
May Peace be with You,
Lance